Life by Sar

Cuba reminded me that when you get passed the expectations, you begin to appreciate the beauty of it again. I can think of many facets of my life this lesson needs to be applied to right now. Navigating through my hormones, the sleep deprivation, and sudden stress - I've lost perspective. I've forgotten how it feels to just sit down and enjoy a cup of fucking coffee. I know how to pound them down quick to get me through my day. But is caffeine even really working for me? While I've been working to keep my mind sharp, I've forgotten to sharpen the damn tool.  My mind is a major cluster fuck right now. Well actually, its been this way since I had Rihaan I miss living the moment as it happens. I miss being present and aware of my existence. Mom-life is a zombie-life. If you look at me closely, I look like one of those people in a rat race running from point A to B with 5 almost empty buckets on my arms.  When the whole objective is about delivering the water fro...

I'm laying across the bed in our hotel room in Cuba. The weather is super shit outside. Its our first day and I'm completely exhausted from everything. I've some how managed to trigger a food coma from olives, churros, and stale fries. Promise you I'm not pregnant. This is legitimately our food situation right now.  My husband is passed out and snoring away while Rihaan is trying to shit - Lord knows hes been trying for 4 days now.  He's on all fours with his bum swaying in my face, contracting his muscles - full moment - I thought to myself, fuck my life is passing by and I haven't gotten around to writing again. I'm missing this whole side to me, I feel disconnected from where I'm supposed to be. Writing satisfies me in a way I can't explain. Emptying my thoughts onto paper is fulfilling in a way I can't quite describe.  I learned to write well in summer school while taking Grade 11 English. I cant recall the name of that particular En...