What ever happened to realistic marriage proposals? Don't get me wrong. I'm not old fashioned nor am I hating. But things have definitely gotten out of hand (don't even get me started on destination: EVERYWHERE Bach parties). I'm in my late twenties, everywhere I turn people are either talking about getting engaged/married or actually getting engaged/married. It's great because it comes with my age. It's natural to think about settling down and starting a family. Great. But, what's up with this ever growing pissing contest of which man can come up with a better "Will you marry me...."? Just hear me out. What ever happened to classy, thoughtful and romantic proposals? I mean seriously, have you heard about Seal and Heidi Klum's proposal? I don't care how much you make, but building a customized igloo on top of Whistler for the purpose of proposing is a little over the top. Haterade aside, maybe it has some romantic element or maybe it's symbolic to their relationship but come on... really? Special is one thing but a Vegas shit show is another. This is just my opinion. I'm not trying to discourage this type of behavior if it's a make-it or break-it deal for some couples. But it begs me to ask, what is she really saying yes to?
Since women play a dominant role in planning the wedding festivities, the proposal is akin to a Man's Last Stand, it's his chance to make a statement about his love, it's his chance to show the world and the woman of his dreams how much she means to him. No doubt- the pressure is on. But now it's turning into a high-priced one upping contest. In some cases, I don't know how much of the proposal actually has to do with the 'asking'. When the first man flew his proposal on the back of an airplane, the game was on!
Trust me. This blog has a point. I just want men and women to think about it. Making the decision to spend the rest of your life with someone is a monumental occasion in your life. It's special. It's private. And it should be everything you want it to be. I'm not saying 'fireworks' are bad. Just don't go overboard with it. I want people to reflect on what a proposal really means. People think proposals are a preconceived notion about the marriage- It's not, at least not in the way everyone is making it out to be. There is a lot to be said about looking into someone's eyes and telling them that you want to spend the rest of your life with them. You don't need a parade or flashing lights to compensate for how you truly feel - if you do, I ask, who is she really saying yes to? Is she saying yes to all the magic tricks and hundreds of dollars you spent on your massive engagement proposal OR is she saying yes to the guy you've always been and will continue to be every morning she wakes up next to? A little fantasy and a dash of magic is good. But don't over do it. There is a diff between thoughtful and excessive. I think it's important to note, whatever you decide and in which ever way you decide to propose - Make it realistic and make it real - Because real things last!
UP NEXT: History of the Marriage Proposal on Bended Knee
I didn't realize how meaningful and symbolic this gesture truly is. I must say, I've grown an appreciation for it.
There is no clear historical origin of the idea of proposing with a bent knee, but the gesture bears striking resemblance to many other ceremonial situations, including:
- Kneeling during prayers and other religious ceremonies, including wedding vows for some faiths.
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- Kneeling while proposing, then, has the same solemn and spiritual connotation.
- Knights kneeling while being awarded honors from kings and queens.
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- Offering or accepting a marriage proposal is just as much an honor as any medal or award.
- Bowing in supplication before a victorious enemy, typically as a gesture of surrender.
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- ''Committing to a relationship is surrendering oneself to being part of a couple.
- Kneeling to genuflect when entering a church or temple.''
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- Again, proposing on bended knee is a sign of respect and spiritualism.
Regardless of the origin, the idea of asking for a loved one's hand in marriage while partially kneeling is a highly symbolic gesture embodying the very essence of committing one's life to another: the ideas of goodwill, honor, and trust in that one person is opening themselves completely to another without shame or any physical defenses.
The practical reason behind a bent knee proposal is that it puts the engagement ring in an elevated position between the couple, letting the light hit it clearly without being blocked by both individuals. This highlights the glitter of the ring as well as emphasizing the strength of the commitment.Today's Marriage Proposal on Bended Knee
Today, only 60 percent of engagements begin with a bent knee, typically when couples are committing to their first marriage. But many women admit the appeal of a marriage proposal on bended knee: the man is offering himself wholeheartedly to the woman, without reservations, elevating her to an exalted position in their relationship, and offering her the choice to determine the course of their relationship. For some couples, the woman may be the one to propose, and it is just as appropriate for her to bend her knee to the prospective groom, though such a gesture may make many men uncomfortable.
How to Propose
The classic bent knee proposal is frequently carried out in a romantic location (beach, under a starlit sky, sunset, etc.), with the ring in a velvet box elevated to the man's chest or eye level between the couple. The ring may be kept in a pocket while waiting for the perfect moment, but be sure that the bulge is not suspicious or noticeable if the proposal is meant as a surprise.
.The duration of the proposal is another concern: some men choose to express their intentions with a small speech or poem, and if the entire discourse is relayed while on bended knee it can become tedious and drawn-out, particularly if the woman's attention is diverted by the ring. On the other hand, a quick question while dropping to one knee may be too brief and catch the woman unnecessarily off-guard, though that type of spontaneous gesture can be just as romantic.
Just before kneeling, it is important to check the surrounding area for problematic landscaping. If proposing on the beach, for example, it would not be pleasant to kneel in a puddle of water, and sharp or other unpleasant objects can spoil what was otherwise a perfectly planned moment. Taking the woman's hand while presenting the ring is a way to convey that this is a gift for her, as well as to create a physical connection between the couple through the ring, the ultimate symbol of their relationship.
When rising after the question is answered, hopefully in the affirmative, the ring should be placed on the bride-to-be's finger, and the next step is a kiss to seal the commitment, just as a kiss traditionally seals wedding vows.This Isn't For Us
For some couples, the idea of a traditional marriage proposal on bended knee is predictable and undesirable. In that case, more creative options are available, and even if the classic pose of honor and respect is lacking, a thoughtful and romantic proposal will convey those same feelings while keeping both feet flat on the ground and both knees straight.
Whether you choose to propose on bended knee or in a more creative, unique fashion, the key is that the traditional symbolism and connotations remain the same: respect, honor, and commitment. Those are the keys to a successful marriage, and those feelings should be visible for all to see from the very moment of pledging to that marriage.
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